Βάπται (test, iv)

237

either in this way or outright,131 (Eupolis) was made to abandon open and
metaphorical comedy; or else he was rescued from such a death and no longer
pursued open comedy

Discussion Telo 2014. 115-16
Context From the wandering, superficial history of comedy additional por-
tions of which are presented here as test. 37b (where see n.). Tzetzes in turn
seems to be the source of An.Par. i p. 7.6-17 = Proleg. de com. XIc.29-38 (p.
44 Koster) έτι ίστέον, ότι ή πρώτη κωμωδία, ής τά σκώμματα φανερά κατά
πάντων ήσαν τών πολιτών, μέχρις Εύπόλιδος διήρκεσεν. έπεί δε αύτός εις
Άλκιβιάδην ϋβρισεν όντα τότε στρατηγόν καί διελοιδορήσατο αύτω, ών τότε
Αλκιβιάδης έμπαράσκευος προς πόλεμον ώς ναυμαχίας προσδοκωμένης,
κελεύει τοΐς στρατιώταις συλλαβεΐν αύτόν· οί δε συλλαβόντες αυτόν, ώς
μεν τινές φασιν, παντελώς άπέπνιξαν αύτόν εις την θάλασσαν, ώς δ’ άλλοι,
δεδεμένον αύτόν σχοίνω άνήγόν τε καί κατήγον εις την θάλασσαν, ού μέντοι
καί άπέπνιξαν παντελώς τού Άλκιβιάδου λέγοντος· “βάπτε με σύ θυμέλαις,
εγώ δε σε άλμυροΐς ύδασι κατακλύσω”. καί ούτω δή ή διαφθαρέντος τοΐς
κύμασι παντελώς ή καί περισωθέντος κτλ (“One ought to be aware, further-
more, that the original comedy, whose jokes were made openly against all
citizens, sufficed until the time of Eupolis. But when he acted outrageously
toward Alcibiades, who was a general at that point, and made crude fun of
him, Alcibiades, who was at that point prepared for war, since a naval battle
was imminent, issued orders to his soldiers to arrest him. And after they
arrested (Eupolis), according to some authorities, they drowned him outright
in the sea, or as other authorities (have it), they tied him up with a rope and
dunked him up and down in the sea, but did not however drown him outright,
since Alcibiades said: “You give me a bath with a stage! But I will drown you
with salt-water!” And after (Eupolis) either died outright in the waves in this
way or was in fact rescued etc.”).
Interpretation Tzetzes appears to be embroidering freely on the usual
anecdote about Eupolis and Alcibiades (cf. test. 3; Baptai test, ii “Probus”;
in; v-vi), ignoring the supposed connection to the plot of Baptai and substi-
tuting for it as the cause of the quarrel a cutting personal joke having to do
with Alcibiades’ notorious lisp (Ar. V. 44-5 with Biles-Olson 2015 ad loc.),
while simultaneously adding explanatory material and color to the narrative

131 I. e. either after repeated dunkings and a few choice words from Alcibiades, or
simply having been thrown overboard with nothing said; the logic of the argument
falls apart somewhat at this point.